12 Nov Ep. 43: The Hallway Between Where You Were and Where You’re Going
There’s an area of business that I’ve identified and also realize is one of the most least talked about topics in business, and that’s something I call The Hallway. This is an area I’ve run into time and time again and I thought to myself: What is this feeling I’m having?; What is the space that I’m in?
It wasn’t until my recent journey through The Hallway (which I happen to still be walking down) that I realized it’s a space between two time periods. Now, I’m not trying to pull a Doc and you know, go back into time in the DeLorean or anything. But there is a period between where you have been and where you are going that is under discussed.
So today, we are talking about The Hallway: The space between two time periods.
I think it’s important to explain to you how I even came about this whole entire concept of the hallway. So here’s the big picture. You have been in a certain area of your life in business, you’ve been struggling — whether it’s finances or clients — you can’t seem to get to a certain goal you’ve had. You’ve been dealing with toxic relationships. All in all, you feel stuck in some form or fashion of your business or life.
And one day, you’re just fucking tired of it.
You’re tired of being sick and tired. You don’t want to be unhealthy anymore. You don’t want to feel anxious. You don’t want to feel depressed. And you’re like, something has to change. So then you start investing a lot of time, money, and effort into evolving yourself.
You’re no longer willing to sacrifice who you are or how big your dreams are. You start cutting ties with toxic people. You start investing in your brain by watching webinars or reading books or going to conferences. You want to sharpen up on finances so you start learning from experts, creating budgets, and looking at your numbers more in depth. Maybe it’s a personal evolution and you go to your closet and start throwing away clothes and accessories that no longer serve you.
You’re literally cleaning out every aspect of your life. Whatever has been keeping you stuck — you are dedicated to getting unstuck.
You may know that age-old saying when one door closes another one opens. Well, here’s the beautiful thing: When you get pissed off and fed up, you start making changes. And there’s a lot of power (especially in a woman) in being pissed off and ready for change.
Girl, you know you don’t clean your house any better than when you are insanely pissed off. Like I can clean my house in 32 minutes flat when I am super pissed.
You have a lot of capabilities and a lot of it is bottled up inside you or you haven’t had the time or space to be able to bring it all out. And now that door starts closing. You can see yourself getting further away from what has held you back for so fucking long (here enters The Hallway). You can now see that door in front of you and you can see the light from it, and it’s not just a little light in the keyhole — that door is actually freaking open.
You can actually start seeing the other side; seeing the fruits of your labor and feeling the change within your life or business.
The challenging part is… you’re not through that door yet. And here lies the concept of The Hallway.
the hallway sucks
This hallway is, whew, one of the most challenging places to be because your mindset is in one place but the rest of you has this baggage of bullshit holding you back. You know that you’re done being stuck. You’ve already decided upon that. You’ve already been putting in hard work to make those things change. But damn if those things don’t want to come along with you to remind you of where you came from, remind you that you still have a ways to go, remind you of your core negative beliefs, or remind you you’re not through that other door.
The bullshit I carried behind the door I just came out of is not what’s going to help me get through the door that’s in front of me. And that same concept goes for you as well. The bullshit you carried in from your past life — from your old job, old relationship — that stuff no longer serves you. You have changed and dropped and evolved all of that for a reason. What kept you in that situation is not going to help you get through the door in front of you.
You have to be willing to drop that bag like the flaming, steaming hot bag of dog shit that it is and you have to be willing to learn new things.
What happened in the past is the past and you can’t change it and I’m going to bet that you learned something insanely valuable through that process. It’s helped guide you to the ambition you have to walk through that next door in front of you. It has lit your soul to say, you know what, I am more, I can be more, and I will do more, which means I need to change more.
SANDBAG ONE: Money-Mindset
So I’ve started to realize that this hallway is also kind of like an obstacle course.
So there are these, I picture these giant sandbags that as I’m walking through this hallway, a few get let loose and they’re on a string and they swing in front of me and it’s almost like I’m in Mario brothers and I have to dodge everything to get to the princess and the castle.
So one of my first sandbags has been the money-mindset. You guys know I’ve been talking about money a lot on The Gutsy Podcast and it’s such an important topic because it gets so hushed. Oh, we shouldn’t talk about money. Oh, that’s a privacy factor.
Nope. We’re talking about all things money.
One of the very first episodes I recorded talked about the brown folder (and if you haven’t listened to that episode I highly encourage you cut bait, go back, and listen to that one because I lay all of my financial challenges out on the table).
Now, we’re three quarters of the way through this year and while I see an end in sight, I’m not through it yet. I’ve changed a lot around my money mindset and one of those very first things was believing that I’m worthy of it; that abundance can be present in my life and that I can do amazing things when it is.
We have done so much work in the area of finances this year. We have restructured our pricing. We’ve rebranded ourselves to reposition. We’ve cut expenses. We sold a bunch of crap that we don’t need. We have a budget meeting scheduled. I mean, when I tell you we’ve gone through every area of finances — we are walking the walk and talking the talk.
Our pricing structure is one of our biggest areas because we were underselling ourselves for so long, and that falls on me. That was a reflection of one of my insecurities. But because I now believe we are worthy of what we charge, we’re charging appropriately. We’re pitching contracts at the level we should be pitching at. And you know what? It’s really exciting because I’m feeling like everything is starting to align. Everything is starting to feel good. And then comes the sandbag.
While new, beautiful things are in place, the past is not behind the door. It had to come along with me and it’s really the aftershock. We’re making way better decisions. I’m so much more conscious of our finances and what that means.
But we’re still digging out. We still have things and responsibilities we have to take care of. We still have challenges. And that’s where The Hallway starts to get really frustrating.
So one of the things I’ve learned is to stick to the plan and budget. Amber always reminds me that the best way out is through, and gaining financial freedom requires sticking to your guns. Even if you start paying things off and start closing that gap, even when that stuff starts to fade one by one, you have to stay focused on the end goal.
You also want to evaluate everything based on does this align with my larger goal? So think about your finances: What is that goal? Is it to pay off debt or is it to have a certain amount of money in the bank? Thinking about your expenses, especially as you do start chipping away at things, you have to align what your purchases are with what your goal is.
SANDBAG TWO: toxicity
Another sandbag that likes to come your way when you’re walking through The Hallway are people, situations, relationships.
Maybe it’s clientele? So the people you’re working with. Maybe you have re-identified who your ideal client is. You know their traits and their attributes. You know who you absolutely love working with. If they called your cell phone and their name came up, you would be excited to take their call. But you still have some clients that no longer fit that profile. So you’re thinking: Okay, I know who my ideal client is but I have a whole bunch of people that no longer serve me and I’m not serving them well either. But I can’t just fire all of my clients and start over. Yeah, maybe that sounds good to some people, but financially that’s a complete train wreck.
I want you to evaluate all of your current clients and create an exit plan for the ones that do not align. These are people that for whatever reason are not aligned with who you are as a business, you’re not servicing the best that you can, and you’re not excited to be working with them. Help them. Get them on to their next success. Create an end in sight for your team. If they’re working with them and thinking, Oh my gosh, I can’t keep doing this. Help them to see the vision at the end of The Hallway, as well, and create a successful transition plan for that client.
I want you to finish strong. This is not the time to start burning bridges and pissing people off. Okay? I want you to fulfill your contracts. I want you to do what you say you were going to do or sit down and have a conversation about it.
SANDBAG three: the naysayers
One of the other things that sometimes happens in this hallway is the sandbag of your friends, family, or other people in the community who can always tell when you’re onto something really good.
When people started saying, Oh, you’re really busy, you’ve changed. People that align with your frequency, your vibration, where you are headed, your number one supporters, your core people — they will stick with you through thick and thin. They may not be able to see the entire picture that you see, but they believe in you; which means they believe in your vision.
Those are your people. That’s your tribe.
But as you’re in The Hallway, another sandbag are people that don’t believe in you anymore or people that don’t understand the changes you’re making and start saying things like, Oh, who does she think she is? Oh, she’s better than everyone else now. Oh, look at her just doing that thing. Oh, look at her. She’s driving that now.
This sandbag is more of an emotional one, in my opinion, because a lot of people tend to drop off and out of your life when you’re in The Hallway. And it can be really, really, really, INSANELY challenging to lose people.
I get it. I’ve lost people. But I’ve also gained amazingly meaningful, purposeful relationships that have my back the whole way. They’re the ones. They’re like coming into The Hallway with me and pushing me through the different obstacles. Those people, they will cheer you on. They pop up out of the dark, they stand in the light with you, and they’re there to remind you that you’ve got this.
SANDBAG four: fatique
I’ve also learned that one of the very, very heavy kind of gnarly shaped sandbags is exhaustion and tiredness. The wonder of can I keep going?
You see, you’re more tired than usual in The Hallway because not only are you tired from your previous weights, now you’ve got a new mix of adrenaline and exhaustion from busting your ass to get to the new door.
Look, I have had many of meltdowns — many. I don’t even think I could count how many meltdowns I’ve had because I’m just tired. I’m tired of being sick and tired. And I mentioned that earlier in this episode and it’s one of those areas where you have to get pissed off and start making a plan to get through it. That’s where I am right now. I’m pissed off. But I know what is going to come of that.
I’ve also learned that burning your candle at both ends — not a great idea. We’ve all heard that, but I feel like maybe I didn’t even light the candle at both ends. I just threw the whole damn candle in the fireplace. That seems like a more realistic thing that a lot of us entrepreneurs do in our office.
Kelli recently shared some quotes about the contradicting ideas between work hard — hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle — but don’t go too fast, slow down, enjoy the moment, and how challenging that can be (especially as an entrepreneur). On one hand you know you want to run, but on the other hand your legs are literally giving out underneath of you.
In American Ninja warrior, there are platforms and sections along the path along the journey that allows the participant to gain composure; one’s that give them a hot second to get their bearings and take a breath so they can get through the next obstacle. The Hallway provides the same thing.
So yeah, you’re working really hard. But I need you to start training for marathons — not sprints. Sprints are really short bursts of energy. You get a lot done in a short period of time and then you fall flat on your face for awhile. You’re exhausted. Whereas a marathon, it may be slower and may take a little bit more time, but you can go a lot further for a lot longer at this pace.
you’ll get to the door
The closer you get to the door, the heavier and more frequent those sandbags tend to get. But here’s the beautiful thing: Rome wasn’t built in a day. And your new vision can’t come to fruition unless you see these obstacles through and take time as each one of them come your way.
The Hallway can actually be a really beautiful place. You can learn so much about yourself, your stamina, your abilities. You learn so much about the people around you and the amazing support that comes sometimes literally out of the dark. And best of all, you get to learn new tricks, new deep-rooted thoughts, beliefs, and habits that are going to help you soar through your dreams and your goals.
Thank You, Gutsy Tribe!
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