What happens when unresolved trauma quietly shapes your life for decades?

In this deeply honest episode, LauraAura sits down with Ranae Van Roekel to talk about childhood trauma, dissociation, people-pleasing, shame, healing, and the series of choices that eventually led Ranae to federal prison.

Ranae shares how growing up in a generation that didn’t talk about trauma left her carrying pain she didn’t know how to process, and how those unresolved experiences slowly showed up through unhealthy coping mechanisms, disassociation, and self-destructive patterns.

Together, they unpack the emotional weight of shame, the courage it took for Ranae to turn herself in, and how prison unexpectedly became the catalyst for her healing journey. They also explore the power of therapy, healthy coping tools, identity work, self-responsibility, and why healing isn’t about pretending the past didn’t happen — it’s about no longer letting it define who you are.

This conversation is raw, compassionate, and an important reminder that you are not the worst thing that has happened to you… or the worst thing you’ve ever done.

In this episode:

• How unresolved trauma can shape behavior and decision-making
• The connection between trauma, dissociation, and people-pleasing
• Why shame and silence keep so many women stuck
• Ranae’s decision to turn herself in and the emotional breaking point behind it
• How prison became the beginning of her healing journey
• The importance of therapy, EMDR, and asking for support
• Releasing your identity from painful moments and past choices
• Healthy coping tools for healing and emotional regulation
• The role of self-responsibility in recovery and growth
• Why healing is ongoing — not a one-time breakthrough
• Second Chance Month and Ranae’s advocacy for justice reform

Featured Guest

Ranae Van Roekel is a trauma advocate, peer support specialist, and the founder of Connecting to Cope, an organization dedicated to helping others navigate trauma, healing, emotional regulation, and life after incarceration. Through sharing her own story, Ranae supports others in releasing shame, building healthy coping tools, and realizing they are more than the hardest moments of their lives.

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE

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NOTEWORTHY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE

“You are not the worst thing you ever did.”

“When we don’t deal with it, it doesn’t just go away. It shows up somewhere.”

“I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“The bigger, stronger move was the start of my healing.”

“You are a culmination of everything you’ve done — the good, the bad, and the otherwise.”

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Sign up for Ranae’s newsletter at ConnectingtoCope.com to get a free Tools for Coping and Self-Care Guide.

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